Saturday, January 5, 2013

Happy New Year!

Strange...this year has not taken any time to get used know how it usually takes a week or two to condition yourself to writing the new year? Maybe it's just me, but I always have; this year's different. Was I just ready for it? I look outside and see houses...houses, buildings, cars, businesses; they cover the blocks, and I feel stiffled. All I can think about is Saskatchewan and how open it is!! I miss the fresh, clean air of the northwest; we had snow one morning in December, but I haven't sat in it, rolled it into a snowball or glided down a mountain in 2 years. I miss it.
Healing is never easy, but the time it's taking is unbearable at times; I've found strength growing in my back but my release from physical therapy has brought fear. I don't want to be governed by fear. This morning a shining a light appeared in my dining is starting. My brother calls me a nerd...okay...I'll be a nerd; I love my classes, every one of them. My class this semester was the only one of 27 I wasn't looking forward to, and it's timing is perfect! I'm SO excited to learn and study and write papers that I would probably take any class :) See how my Jesus works...I can't wait to take this course; I may start today :)
I'm so glad my Jesus never sleeps, never stops working FOR me. I came home from working through the holidays, having a house full of wonderful family and then working through final travelers headed home and was burnt out...ready to collapse and happy never to make coffee joke, and that's serious for me. I was tired of smiling and serving people who complained and pushed and frowned at me all day. I spent the evening in my was freezing...but the stars, the still, quiet voice of the wind and the vast expanse of the rich, dark sky was like the breath of God breathing into my soul new life and a fresh will to continue. "I look to the mountains, where does my help come from. My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

An excerpt from a recent paper:

                                                        IMPRECATORY PSALM 69

 “...Let their own table before them become a snare; and when they are at peace, let it become a trap. Let their eyes be darkened, so that they cannot see, and make their loins tremble continually. Pour out your indignation upon them, and let your burning anger overtake them. May their camp be a desolation; let no one dwell in their tents. Add to them punishment upon punishment; may they have no acquittal from you. Let them be blotted out of the book of the living; let them not be enrolled among the righteous...” (Psalm 69:22-28).

 The humanity in the psalms encourages and affirms the release of emotion and expression of anger, fear and even doubt before God. The psalmist was unafraid to present himself raw before God, “I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God”. David admitted his faults and clearly had nothing hidden from the Lord. As a young shepherd, David probably spent countless hours alone in relationship with God. The intimacy David shared with the Lord, demonstrated in his openness in the psalm, is an invitation for all of us to bear our hearts open before the Lord. “Hide not your face from your servant; for I am in distress; make haste to answer me. Draw near to my soul, redeem me; ransom me because of my enemies!”

These words in Psalm 69 put a voice to the desperation and heartache felt by David in his current state. The honesty expressed in the lines above functioned as a release for the heaviness in the psalmist’s heart. The acknowledgement of discontent, fear and impatience was an act of holiness in that David laid himself bare before the Lord. The release of emotion allowed for the release of responsibility as well. After expressing his heartache and feelings of oppression, David turned his heart to the Lord, accepted God’s timing and laid himself in the steadfast love of the father.

C.S. Lewis attributed the imprecatory psalms to a justified indignation about the problem of sin. Without honest emotions, we may never tap into the honest abhorrence of evil, for it takes a righteous vigilance to come against the forces of evil and to abhor is to feel deep and agonizing discomfort for the thing that is fixated upon. There is no doubt that human beings will learn to hate, but where and how we spend our time will determine what it is that we hate most. We are capable of much emotion and that emotion not surrendered to the righteousness of God is a dangerous and volatile thing, but healthy emotions weighted with the truth will fight for justice, abhor evil and stand firm where the two intersect.

God is not afraid of our emotion, as he demonstrated in his responses to Job, David and many others who shake their fists at the air. Instead, he seeks to engage us in those emotions, drawing out the truth and bringing about the freedom and righteousness he desires for us. David freely expressed his fear and distaste for those rising up against him and the house of God: “For zeal for your house has consumed me, and the reproaches of those who reproach you have fallen on me”. David’s anger was kindled against those who were challenging the house of God; his lament expressed his belief that the suffering he endured was a suffering for the sake of God’s house.

The number of times that David approached God with anger and distaste for the situations he encountered and the lack of fear to openly express those emotions should inspire readers to explore the rage we feel against sin. For it is “the glory of God [that] demands the destruction of evil”. For David, those prayers were more a renunciation of retaliation than an attempt to achieve vengeance, for they were not followed by violence but strict acceptance and confidence in the power of God to exercise right judgment. “You who seek God, let your hearts revive. For the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners. Let heaven and earth praise him. For God will save Zion”.

Praying a curse on the enemies of God is an act of submission to God; we no longer have freedom to take revenge. Rather, freedom to express emotion in the presence of the Lord allows us the courage to walk away satisfied with God and his exercise of judgment. David’s ability to leave Saul unharmed in the cave leads us to believe David must have been satisfied with God’s timing and vengeance. Such confidence can only come from a life of experiencing God’s justice and a willingness to engage God in honest conversation.

Although such righteous anger is obviously condoned in the scriptures, C.S. Lewis warns the danger of such righteous anger is how close we get to jumping off the ledge; “those who are readiest to die for a cause may easily become those who are readiest to kill for it”. Lewis argues in his reflections that the psalmist could easily become carried away with vengeance in the name of the Lord and lose sight of the cause altogether. Humanity will always fall short of the necessary righteousness to engage sin, yet the lack of attempt to pursue righteous anger is equivalent to a mother that stands aside while her child is eaten by wolves.

As believers we must function in the attitude of war; David prayed from an attitude of war. God anointed David to fulfill the covenant he made with Israel, so David’s enemies became God’s enemies in his sovereign plan for Israel’s dominance. David was unafraid to call upon God to exercise judgment on his enemies because of his “trust in God’s commitment to the covenant”. These were cries of pain accompanied by full and complete faith and trust in the sovereignty of God. As such, David had every right to call down curses on those who opposed the workings and anointed of Yahweh. This imprecatory psalm was a righteous act against God’s enemies.

Righteous anger is not an act of personal vengeance; it fights for a cause beyond the individual, protecting and often demanding an offensive reaction against the enemy. An imprecatory psalm “is our way of coming before the Lord and throwing the sword to him”. David was not calling down curses on the poor and the needy who engaged in wickedness; he cursed those who, in their power, refused to repent and chose to use that power to come against the Lord’s anointed. “Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them. For God will save Zion and build up the cities of Judah, and people shall dwell there and possess it; the offspring of his servants shall inherit it, and those who love his name shall dwell in it.” (Psalm 69:34-36).

Friday, June 15, 2012

Treasure Hunt Anyone??

For centuries mankind has been increasingly willing to endure whatever hardship, hassle or inconvenience that befell them (even to the point of death) to discover those things most valued in this world. Job 28 describes man's search for the treasures of this earth, deep inside the core where "eagles can't see." The California Gold rush in the 1800s drew men from all over the country out west either with their families or alone in search of the precious metal that could change their lives. Its value was and is reflected in the willingness of man to search for it. I have been thinking about wisdom? Do I search for wisdom the way I search for wealth? Do I know where to find wisdom, how to obtain it or even what the cost may be to approach it? Am I willing to endure hardship, pain, and here it order to find what the Bible says is more valuable than gems, pearls or gold? Why is the book of Job a part of wisdom literature? We all know the story of Job; we know he suffered, but do I understand what he gained through that suffering? Do I want to know? Dallas Willard said, "People only know what they want to know." How badly do I want to know the Truth? I'm not just talking about the gospel, although that is the Truth. What about the Truth in my own life? Am I willing to face reality? Am I willing to face my own sin? I mean really face it, not in a "let's accept and move on" sort of way but with a grievous and repentant heart? Is it possible that accepting the losses that make up reality can lead us into wisdom? Is suffering necessary to obtain what the Bible deems so valuable?

Sunday, February 13, 2011


Hello friends,

Perhaps you have noticed that I stink at keeping this things updated...I would like to do better, yet find myself writing so much more in a journal instead of here. Perhaps you have long since stopped checking as I never post, who knows, but thought I would write anyway as it came to mind today.
God has chosen this time to dig deep into my heart and pull out the wounded heart of a young girl and bring healing. I have felt often as though I were sinking, yet see more that His hand is deeper in this than I once thought. Praise the Lord.
My family is hurting; more than I every saw before. We are so captured by pain and wounded hearts that is blinding our need for each other and wounding further in the process. I do not wish what I have encountered on the rest of my family, yet something must break so we can be reconciled. Eyes need to be opened. Please pray. Pray this comes out in the next two years. That we would see each other wounded, offer forgiveness and allow the Lord to bring healing to our own hearts and relinquish our grip on control and harboring of pain.

Love your sister,

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Fun in the Sun!

It wasn't long ago that three of us ladies journeyed to a distant land in the middle of the Pacific Ocean...okay maybe not too distant, but distant enough!! Hawaii!! What a blast we had girls! Floating on the beach, driving a mustang, watching a Luau and eating ice cream. We had way too much fun, but what a blessing this time was for all of us. The Lord gave such joy in different ways as we enjoyed the sunshine and ate wonderful food! (We may have splurged a bit on the good food!!) Enjoy the pics!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Stand in Glory

I cannot wait to stand in glory, where we will meet Him face to face and be unable to stand for the glory that surrounds us. What a sight...I long for it with so much of my heart. Nothing on this earth can satisfy; not even the greatest pleasure here compares to the greatness of knowing and being known by the King of Kings.

How long do we continue here? How long until His return? It nears with every hour, and I long to be at home with Him, finally able to worship in perfection and with adequate hearts. Be still and wait, for though the time is near, many are yet to come. Prolong your return, O Lord, for the sake of those not in the Kingdom.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Merry Christmas!!

May the Spirit of the Living God overshadow you and bring you peace. Remember His inexpressible gift that comes through the Incarnation of His Son. He became human, walked among us, Immanuel, and died that we might have life. We celebrate Christmas because He came to die. May this drive you to surrender. Remember if the devil can keep us out of the Word and off our knees, he is more powerful, but the minute we drop to our knees and open the Word, the power of the Living God moves in us and blots out the lies and deception and destruction of the enemy. May His strength be yours. Deny the push to walk away from the Word; force yourself to focus in prayer, for it is through obedience that joy and blessing will come. Obedience pounds out the weakness of the flesh. Praise the Lord!!

Many blessings as you celebrate this season! Celebrate the Lord's Incarnation and becoming Immanuel, God With Us!!